i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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