Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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