If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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