one might say we're banned from that church
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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