All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
