New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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