These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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