Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
well you can't waste a boner
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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