direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Congratulations! We have a period
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