I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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