in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
