That's intense
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize