white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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