Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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