Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Found the puke drawer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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