you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
