Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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