Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
