whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
