i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
