Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
