It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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