And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
