We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
how drunk are you?
Several
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize