Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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