So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
