I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
