fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
