wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
