your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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