Do vagina's smell?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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