I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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