mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
