I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
