Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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