Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
