and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Watching her eat just hurts me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
