Having a random hookup so left but love u
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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