White coat. Heels.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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