So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im holly from the hills drunk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
