What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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