I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
