im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
