I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
