I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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