I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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