I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
