on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
