I'm eating all of the evidence.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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