Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize