pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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