Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
