For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
