i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize