I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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