I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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