I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
