Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize