She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
