dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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