Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
