then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
